From z-list-bounce@amphigory.com Fri Oct 29 14:27:32 1999 Return-Path: Received: from pwrtc.com (pwrtc.com [63.78.66.34]) by jovita.jovita.net (8.8.5/8.8.5) with ESMTP id OAA16713 for ; Fri, 29 Oct 1999 14:27:32 -0500 Received: from legba.pwrtc.com (postfix@legba.pwrtc.com [63.78.66.223]) by pwrtc.com (8.8.8/8.8.5) with ESMTP id OAA10004; Fri, 29 Oct 1999 14:23:31 -0500 (EST) Received: from legba.pwrtc.com (localhost [127.0.0.1]) by legba.pwrtc.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id D9366A4C1; Fri, 29 Oct 1999 14:23:22 -0500 (EST) Received: with LISTAR (v0.125a; list z-list); Fri, 29 Oct 1999 14:23:22 -0500 (EST) Delivered-To: z-list@amphigory.com Received: from hotmail.com (law2-f40.hotmail.com [216.32.181.40]) by legba.pwrtc.com (Postfix) with SMTP id 1FA51A4C2 for ; Fri, 29 Oct 1999 14:23:20 -0500 (EST) Received: (qmail 40792 invoked by uid 0); 29 Oct 1999 19:23:00 -0000 Message-ID: <19991029192300.40791.qmail@hotmail.com> Received: from 198.36.178.140 by www.hotmail.com with HTTP; Fri, 29 Oct 1999 12:23:00 PDT X-Originating-IP: [198.36.178.140] From: "Christoph *****" To: z-list@amphigory.com Subject: [z-list] The Cthulhu "Look-and-Feel" Suit. Date: Fri, 29 Oct 1999 12:23:00 PDT Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed X-archive-position: 4070 X-listar-version: Listar v0.125a Sender: z-list-bounce@amphigory.com Errors-To: z-list-bounce@amphigory.com X-original-sender: chaldrick@hotmail.com Precedence: bulk Reply-To: z-list@amphigory.com X-list: z-list Status: RO X-Status: The Cthulhu look-and-feel suit To: Microsoft Lawyers, Inc. From: Azathoth, Nyarlathotep and Hastur, Elder Attorneys Sirs: Our agents among the mortal herd have brought to Our attention your recent product entitled Windows '95. Therefore We now give you statutory notice of intent of proceedings to be taken against Microsoft by the Many-Angled Ones. With this suit We will show that Windows '95, and to a lesser extent all of the Microsoft range of products, infringe upon the recognised "look-and-feel" of the Elder Gods, for the following reasons: Windows '95 is a crawling abomination from the darkest pits of Hell; No man can be in its presence for too long without being driven into gibbering insanity; A cult who worship it exist in secret amongst the mortal herd; Those who associate with it for too long develop common physical characteristics, to wit: pale, clammy skin, bulging eyes, generally unkempt physical appearance, tendency towards nocturnal living, change in diet to that which normal men do not eat (in your case tacos, burgers and Jolt Coke; in Ours, human flesh, Fungi of Yuggoth and the blood of Alien Gods); Mysterious tomes that purport to explain this phenomenon are reputed to exist; they are bound in an unnatural substance and only available at a terrible cost to the user. The Microsoft range of products seek to utterly dominate the world, and force all who dwell there to live in eternal damnation. As you can see, Our case is very strong, especially when you consider that most judges prefer not to have chittering things with tentacles for faces scoop out their brains and eat them. We hope that you will consider these points carefully and settle out of court, since it is not Our intention to have your senior partners spend the rest of their mercifully short lives under heavy sedation in a maximum security psychiatric hospital. After all, it was the Lords of the Outer Planes who gave humanity lawyers in the first place. Respectfully yours, [Oddly disturbing squiggle in some sort of ichor] pp. J. Arthur Hastur, LL.B., B.C.L, B.D -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Source: Dave Hemming, surfbaud@NO-SPAM.waverider.co.uk -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Téir go dtí innéacs EGT -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- HTML Michael Everson everson@indigo.ie, Dublin 1997-04-05 ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com