I was really hung over with a triple indemnity and the logos of a thousand corporate hyenas swarmed in the air around me. I followed the neon, because that's where the money goes.

Stopping by a brothel for directions, the staff eunuch introduces me to Mania. She dances for me. I pooh-pooh her. She dances some more; I pooh-pooh some more. In this way, we spend many enjoyable evenings. But my astronomical observations urge me to move on; I can tarry here no more. I steal some pens on my way out.

On the dusty road, I encounter a messenger of the Fortunate One. We play chess. I defeat him, and he signs over to me one of his cousins. We bow to each other as we go our separate ways.

I reached a place where the neon went into the ground. There was an old man in a jumpsuit sitting in the position of the Depleted Sterno. Surely, he was a great master. I sat down next to him, facing the same direction as him, using the less difficult position of the Nervous Frog. "Master," I ask, "can you lead me?"

I will never forget his words of wisdom, nor will I ever master them. He said, "Do not eat candied yams, lest ye die; but in the four corners of the public restroom, you shall find out what a breakfast yum-yum is." I returned home a chastened man.