Tonight, your life will change forever. Tonight, all your dreams will come true at once. For tonight, you will receive a luxury beyond compare. Yes, tonight you will get a new car.

It isn't just any new car. It's the new Bolus Impacta. A ride so smooth your buttocks will cry for more. So much leg room you'll have to have major surgery to reach the foot controls. And that's just for starters. Imagine cruising down the highway, sailing over the other cars, leaving the drivers choking in your delicately scented exhaust and regretting their grubby, pathetic little lives. Imagine a car that gives you the ultimate power of traffic mind control. Imagine a car that drives itself, while you enjoy orgasm after orgasm - just from listening to the radio.

Now imagine that there's sombody behind you. No, don't look. Imagine that he is your friend. He loves you. But wait - he is displeased. He wants you to have the car, but you have been bad. He will have to punish you instead. No, don't look - AAAH! You looked. Now you're really going to get it. Imagine red hot pincers shooting out of his head on the end of undulating hoses of magma. They're reaching right into your skull, they're going through your brain, reaching your hippocampus, they're pausing, no, they're taking a left, they're headed for your inner ear, they've deposited some kind of probe, and then poof! he and his pincers are gone. I told you not to look. Now... imagine fingernails on a chalkboard... forever...