I know the vampires are out there. I am prepared for them. I have divided my cells into armies, and they will protect me.

I have placed cameras in my blood cells, so that when I am taken, there will be a record of the places where the vampires live; let those who come after me follow them to their lairs and destroy them utterly.

I have placed viruses in my blood cells, so that when I am taken, a great calamity will befall those who share in the feast; let those who come after me cover their noses and mouths to keep out the death.

I have placed forgetfulness in my blood cells, so that when I am taken, they will know not what they are, and be stricken by the dawn, not knowing to take shelter; let those who come after me walk in the dust of the vampires' bodies.

I have placed sin in my blood cells, so that when I am taken, they will fall to wickedness, that is, a more general wickedness than the whole blood-sucking thing; let those who come after me burn their houses of unrepentant naughtiness.

All these things have I done. I go now into the mouth of Hell. May God in heaven and all the saints protect me.